i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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