the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
