Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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