i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
