TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you win again, gameday.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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