Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize