yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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