I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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