Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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