Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
