If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
