I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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