i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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