Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
