NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
