We need to rekindle our bromance
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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