Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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