i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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