Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize