I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
