It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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