then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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