I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
