I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
