Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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