i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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