Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
