Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
