You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
