im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
