I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
