I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
All the doctor said was why
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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