just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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