And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
