Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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