i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
