the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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