Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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