Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
