first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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