We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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