So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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