Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
