shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
