Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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