Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize