I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Threesome in a minivan. New low
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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