Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
