never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
