Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
