My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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