I think im going to throw up on grandma
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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