I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
