I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
