So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
