none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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