I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
