If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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